The weekend goes by...

[elfs]

Well, it was a nice weekend. Saturday we went out to get the tree, stopping by RePC to recycle the monitor that my new wide-screen replaced. I discovered, to my disgust, that the A/B box I have doesn't do pass-through for sizing signals, so I have to unplug the monitor going back and forth between all the different computers I use in the office: my old desktop (single core AMD with 512MB of RAM), my laptop, and the router.

Christmas Tree

We got the tree at Ikea, which sold us a gorgeous tree for $20, and a promissory note of a $10 gift certificate if we brought the tree back on January 2nd. Not a bad deal, all things considered. Oh, sure, Ikea gets us in the door, but after a lunch of meatballs I think we'll be done.

The girls, Omaha, Lisakit and I all helped decorate the tree, going through the annual ritual of checking all the lights and digging out all the random knicknacks that go with the glass balls and blinking lights. I'm of the minimalist camp myself: anything more than ball ornaments and lights, delicately arranged, is garish. Apparently, my family likes garish.

Sunday, we had our monthly Costco run, and despite Omaha's "limited" list we spent over $400 on food and supplies. That had better last us a month. I can't believe a household of 5 goes through that much food in a month, but I guess we do.

The evening D&D game was quiet. For a GM who doesn't like magic, Lisakit's throwing a lot at us, giving the theif and monk not a whole lot to do. Dinner was chinese take-out from the local place.

I had a very difficult conversation with Yamaraashi-chan, though. I found out that she had violated the TOS of Facebook, lied on her proposal to appear to be older, and brazenly violated the household rules that she wasn't to join social networking sites without informing me. Unlike her peers' clueless (or heedlessly indifferent) parents, I have something of a decent grip on these issues. It didn't help that her "away" message was deliberately crafted to sound like she was a prostitute ("It was just a joke!" she insisted. Not funny, kid) or that I finally had that "You're not leaving the house looking like that, young lady!" moment when she headed out with as much sleazy make-up around her eyes and mouth as I've ever seen on Aurora Ave. She's trying so hard to be "grown up," but she doesn't understand what that means. I wish she would seek attention for the things I praise her for, like her writing and school work, and for the things her peers attend to, like her looks.

So, she's lost her Facebook account (for lying to the service about her age) and she's grounded (for lying to me). I don't know if it'll get through to her that even I have my limits, but it's all I know to do at this point.

Comments

[ladyerin.livejournal.com]

So, she's lost her Facebook account (for lying to the service about her age) and she's grounded (for lying to me). I don't know if it'll get through to her that even I have my limits, but it's all I know to do at this point.

Just a thought on this. She certainly did deserve to lose the account and be grounded, but don't make the punishment too unbearable. I know in my case, I didn't stop doing things my parents didn't want me to do, I got better at hiding my transgressions. I'm certain you don't want that to happen.

Would showing her exactly what type of 'grown up' she is trying to be help at all? Help her to see that isn't a productive place to go with her life? Have an admired adult, that isn't her 'uncool' parents, to talk to her? You might have already tried these things, but thought I'd give my perspective on it.

Just trying to be helpful,
~E

[edichka2.livejournal.com]

Tangent: Have you followed the debacle of Ikea in Russia?
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/12/business/global/12ikea.html

Main track:
Frank talk with our boy last night regarding rudeness -- e.g., in response to a simple question, "Do I even have to TELL you that?!" Advised him that in some families (e.g., Mommy's family of origin) he'd have gotten smacked across the face for such temerity. Advised him that if such inappropriate appropriations from popular culture (e.g., Harry Potter) continued, then he would be deprived of his access to such sources. (He's homeschooled and we have no TV, so it's quite doable.) What struck the deepest was the possibility that the long-awaited seventh-birthday train set could get postponed by a year.

Just sharin'. A long way from teen-girl problems, for sure.

- E

[pixel39.livejournal.com]

It might be a bit extreme, but possibly giving her a graphic idea of some of the ugly things that can happen to a girl her age if she's not careful might help?

[ladyerin.livejournal.com]

was thinking something the same, but was trying to say it more gently.

~E

[sandhawke.livejournal.com]

So, what is the reason to not let her go out like that?

(My eldest daughter is 10.)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_candide_/]

Good on you, Elf, for laying down the law. I trust that you made it clear (and will continue to make it clear, repeatedly, over several months) the reasons exactly why she's in trouble.

And don't be squeamish about telling your daughters, "And I'm frankly scared that could happen to you."

[taerin.livejournal.com]

We don't even do glass balls on the tree anymore, because every time we take a trip or attend an event, we pick up a Christmas ornament as our souvenir.

This will be our fourteenth Christmas together, so we have quite a collection now. Getting all of them on the tree, plus lights, makes plenty of decoration.

(The string of dragon lights always goes around our metal pirate ship, as if they were attacking.)