Does the normalization of anal sex, shaving, bukkake, etc. help or hinder sexual self-actualization?

[elfs]

In a previous post I relayed the conclusion to a paper that claims that the widespread availability of pornography on the Internet has been accompanied by a strong drop in rape.

What fascinates me most about this is the (thus far) anecdotal counter-claim that the growing body of "extreme" pornography cheapens relationships and encourages men and women to try acts they normally wouldn't and that don't contribute to a sense of intimacy, just because it's in porn. Sodomy and bukkake come to mind as two of those things that, unless you're really curious about it, don't contribute to intimacy. (On the other hand, if you are into sodomy, it can contribute much to your understanding of yourself and your partner. As they say in Nigeria, email me for more details. Kidding, kidding...)

I can't help but wonder if we're seeing both a broadening and a narrowing of sexual expression in this country: on the one hand, people who have the personal and intellectual framework to consciously explore their sexuality have a huge buffet of materials from which to draw inspiration. On the other, people who would otherwise have had mundane but satisfying sexual lives might feel more compelled to experiment with outrageous sexual activities, either by their normalization in pornography (I remember when anal sex was a big freaking deal in porn and nobody shaved anything, but these days, having pubic hair is the kink and most porn shows women taking cock in all three orifices as if that were expected and normative) or under pressure from a partner who has pornography-encouraged expectations.

Comments

[athelstan.livejournal.com]

If you've read Triton by Delaney, the main character in the book can't decide who to be because he can be anything. It's the only book I've read where I felt that the main character could really be me. Today one can be sexual in any way that they want with out a structure that lets them know they are making the right choice for them. I know that I've felt pressured to explore further than I had the capacity to understand what I was doing or how I feel. So I can add that your supposition is correct for me.