Resume scanners suck

[elfs]

In the past three days, I've received calls from young woman with thick Mumbai accents, asking me if they can arrange telephone call interviews for tasks for which I don't have the skillset. The dance goes something like this:

"Sir, can I arrange for someone to call you about your HTML and CSS experience? Microsoft has need of experienced PSD to HTML developers."

Since I'm bound by the terms of the unemployemnt insurance, I grudgingly accept. I get a call from a first-line interviewer, who soon realizes that I'm (1) way overqualified for what he wants, since I'm not just some HTML monkey, and (2) I don't have PSD to HTML conversion on my resume. (I can do it, it's just not on my resume for a reason. It's boring!) The conversation closes with a mutual agreement that he doesn't want me for the job.

Then I get a call back from Mumbai. "Sir, it says here that you were not picked up for this job, and the note says that the keywords were not appropriate. Can you tell me what keywords I should be looking for?"

Politely and trying not to lose my cool-- this is my time she's wasting, after all, whatever her employer pays her-- I tell her that I don't know what keywords she can look for since I'm not in the field she's interviewing for, that it's not my job, it's not my job to help her, and no, I can't help her. Thank you. Click.

The other one is that since I've done Rich Internet Application development for "industrial environments," and have the word "prototype" on my resume, I've gotten calls for "Industrial Prototype Design and Development." When it becomes clear that what they want is someone who does rapid prototyping of physical things, not software, I ask them why they called me. "It says prototype on your resume.'"

I have to sigh and tell him, "Prototype is a programming framework and language for web page development. It sounds to me like you've got a bad keyword lookup."

"Can you tell me what keywords I should be looking for?"

"Maybe you should see if the words 'industrial' and 'prototype' are even in the same paragraph?"

Ah, the adventure never ceases. I just worry that I might soon have to tune down a resume' to something small and inexperienced to qualify for one of those scutty webmonkey jobs.

Comments

[ladyerin.livejournal.com]

maybe you should start charging for your 'consulting' services. ;-)

This reminds me way too much of when I started taking classes again and was a freshman at 27. I lost count of the Army/AirForce/Navy/National Guard recruiters I laughed at when they asked if I had considered a career in the Armed Forces.

While not a bad thing in principle, I just don't think I'm what they are looking for in a new recruit.

[elfs.livejournal.com]

I can just see it. "Sure, can you send me the address of your employer? I charge $50 an hour, in minimum half-day increments, for consulting."

[resonant.livejournal.com]

Do it! Do it! Answer their questions, and then ask them where to send your invoice!

[phred1973.livejournal.com]

Heh, I'm pretty 'unusual' for a senior NCO. Our uncle has been pretty good to me and mine. Rules are often annoying, but not too stifling (speaking for self) most of the time.

One reason I keep raising my hand: Hard to get laid off unless you TRY reall y really hard to screw it up. At least in the Army. Other services have different tolerances for various quirks.

[gromm.livejournal.com]

Dude, you've gotten *calls*?

All that's ever happened to my resume as posted online has been that I've submitted it to a few increasingly-obvious dataminers' databases (they don't have any actual job positions that I'm interested in, they just want the largest database of resumes to search when employers submit what they want), and gotten no feedback or interest whatsoever.

Where have you posted your resume?

[elfs.livejournal.com]

Linkedin and Monster.

[lisakit.livejournal.com]

Is LinkedIn mainly for techie types or would it be a good source for admin/legal types too?

[rand0m1.livejournal.com]

And you eventually find yourself trying to modify your resume so it will trigger the right keyword searches.

One of my major pet peeves is that in so many cases a resume doesn't even get to the hands of someone who has a clue about the position until it has been filtered out by people who know absolutely nothing about the subject and are working with keywords alone.

[lisakit.livejournal.com]

Since I'm bound by the terms of the unemployemnt insurance, I grudgingly accept.

You are not bound to answer or interview for jobs you did not solicit. Nor do you have to accept every interview offer.

Now if you accepted the offer then you'd better get to that interview even if you're dying or they could deny your unemployment for all or part of that week because you were not "able and available" for part of it.

You can call the unemployment people to talk about the specifics and nuances of when you do or don't have to accept interviews (or even job offers) to be sure. Make it a time when you can sit patiently while waiting for someone to answer though.

[elfs.livejournal.com]

Well it was a phone interview to conduct a phone interview. I made the point of showing just how overqualified I was based on the content of the resume' to the second level screener, and besides, maybe if they really need a middle-tier web developer, they'll call me.

Probably not, but worth a hope.

[lisakit.livejournal.com]

Yah, that is one on the plus side. You never know what might be the contact that leads to a job.