Oh, good grief... Slash tropes infest the for-purchase market.

[elfs]

You know how I used to bitch and mock the bad porny novels coming out of houses like Samhain and Ellora's Cave? About how all the BDSM novels were either written by people who had never done it, or had done it were all New Relationship Energy with their toy and had to tell you all about how cool it was, or who had done it but couldn't write their way out of a paper bag?

There is something worse, I've discovered: the gay porn written by straight women for straight women. Who've never committed sodomy in their lives. Who have no idea what cock even tastes like. Who are absolutely clueless about what men are like in bed. Prissy, excessively talented cops and cowboys who "discover" sometime in their lives that hey, they like guys like they never noticed before and, miraculously, the right guy is there. It's like, two men who would be perfect husbands if only they weren't gay, which is a mirror for the one man who would be a perfect husband if only he weren't about to marry the female protagonist.

Gag me. No, not you.

Comments

[zvi-likes-tv.livejournal.com]

How terrible, the discovery that there's been porn written for someone who isn't you. I weep emotears for your pain.

[elfs.livejournal.com]

Hey, I didn't say they couldn't write it. I just said I wouldn't withhold my mockery. Surely there's stereotypical porn that makes you wince, no?

[kengr]

Alas, I lost a true "classic" in a move many years ago. Not only was it badly written BDSM (*lesbian* BDSM at that), but something seemed "off" about the writing.

I'd encountered several train wreck sentences and paragraphs where she was doing X to her and it's wasn't at all obvious which woman was doing what.

Then I hit the sentence that cleared everything up.

"She thrust her throbbing dildo into Jane's cunt" (or some such)

And I realized that it had been a straight BDSM story converted to lesbian by using global search and replace. With no editing to follow up.

[zvi-likes-tv.livejournal.com]

There's a difference between these stories in this genre are bad and this genre's premise — It's like, two men who would be perfect husbands if only they weren't gay, which is a mirror for the one man who would be a perfect husband if only he weren't about to marry the female protagonist. — is bad. Your dismay that romantic, sexually explicit fiction written for women would feature men to whom women are both romantically and sexually attracted is, frankly, creepy.

[bldrnrpdx.livejournal.com]

ZOMG - gay male porn written by straight women for straight women is akin to lesbian porn written by straight men for straight men? Say it isn't so!

[urox.livejournal.com]

Random question for you that you may know the answer to. Who writes Yaoi?

[resonant.livejournal.com]

Half the time, teenage girls who have never actually talked with a guy.

At Anime North, there's a workshop each year called "Gay Sex 101", where a REAL LIVE GAY COUPLE (OMG!)gets into various (clothed) poses to show the artists what is and really isn't physically possible.

A panel of safe-sex educators then give the writers a rundown on the mechanics of gay sex, the importance of lube and preparation, and (in an attempt to turn yaoi fanfic into a medium for positive cultural change) the basics of safer sex.

A panel of gay and trans people then comments on various misconceptions, common or otherwise, found in yaoi and slash (the classic example: maple syrup, although Canadian, is not an appropriate lube in a Due South fanfic), and answer questions from the audience.

[gromm.livejournal.com]

I'm shocked. Shocked, I say!

I was certain you knew about slashfic.

The best slash cliche I've seen (and I must admit, I can't stand it, so I haven't read much) was basically how men can have multiple orgasms just like women, but more importantly, that they are able to accomplish the feat from getting a rimjob.

I *do* have one good thing to say about slashfic though, and that's that it has brought about a whole new generation of young women who are rampant perverts. And that it doesn't take much sexual experience to rid them of the silly notions brought about by virgin slash authors.

[lynx212.livejournal.com]

I find myself siding with you again Gromm. I know when I wandered into yaoi I climbed several rungs up the hentai ladder. (I have to say I ran into Elf's writing first and it did make me go looking for more...left a deliciously naughty taste in my mouth it did...lol) I now run in rampant circles with a bunch of 30+ married women that spend the majority of their spare time reading and writing yaoi.

And yes we are the biggest group of perverts I've seen in a while and we love it!^_~

[ladyperegrine.livejournal.com]

Don't most straight women know what cock tastes like?

Tootsie II: Dustin Hoffman takes up p0rnwriting....

[maellenkleth]

hell. most of us dykes know what cock tastes like -- it's part of a broad social education.

however, a nominally female writer not knowing what cock tastes like? then more likely what we have is a straight boy flogging his pr0n under a female name (not that that would never happen, heya?).

Re: Tootsie II: Dustin Hoffman takes up p0rnwriting....

[(Anonymous)]

I wonder how often straight guys write gay porn, though? Not that it doesn't happen, but I'm curious about what circumstances would lead to it.

Anonymous Blog Reader #127