Dear Miss Kinky Manners,

[elfs]

Dear Miss Kinky Manners,

A lifetime of time, age, and maturity (those are not all the same thing, nor ought they to be regarded as even related) have taught most men that elevator eyes, the annoying and almost uncontrollable instinct some men have to look at a woman's breasts before meeting her eyes, is rude. However, let's say I know a M2F transsexual who has started to be, shall we say, quite visibily successful in her development as a young woman.

Is it still rude? Is it affirming? Is it rude but underneath it all she's secretly gleeful that you noticed? Is it affirming but underneath it all she knows she ought to be annoyed because it's rude, dammit?

 —Warm and bothered, Seattle, WA.

Comments

[gromm.livejournal.com]

I think that in both cases, it all depends on the (t-)girl. And largely, it appears to be rude if you're a stranger, and they don't know whether they can trust you. Most of the women I know have no issue with my wandering eyes, except to be flattered by the attention.

[lynx212.livejournal.com]

*dies*

More often than not your posts are the highlight of my LJ friends page. Your sense of humor and keen observation skills make your posts so damn entertaining!!

Thanks for sharing this! ^_^ *continues to roll around laughing*

[lynx212.livejournal.com]

Inclined to agree with you gromm, as a bearer of a set of DD's on a 140lb frame, I am not insulted when the "girls" get the eye. I sit and think, hell, if I were them I would stare too...lol ^_^

[elfs.livejournal.com]

After ten minutes of searching: "Omaha, I can't find my keys!"

Omaha sighs deeply, says my name like an epithet, and then points to them, sitting where I left them, on the book shelf. "Observation skills, Elf. Observation skills!"

And this is why...

[wolfwings.livejournal.com]

...Spot is tied to Wisdom, but Search to Intelligence.

[moofinator.livejournal.com]

I think if someone's trying to make their tits bigger (implants, hormones, etc) it becomes more appropriate to stare. It's usually polite to notice when someone wants to be noticed, it's polite to avert your eyes when someone is trying not to show them off.

Or to put it another way, what's the purpose of accentuating your cleavage if people aren't supposed to stare at your tits?

[rarkrarkrark.livejournal.com]

To bring your body in line with your own mental image of how it ought to be. It doesn't have to be about attracting other people's attention.

[maellenkleth]

Deer, meet headlights. Headlights, meet deer.

If you know the person in question well enough to know her life history, then I should think that you would know how she herself feels about being known for undergoing that process of transition. So whether it is rude or affirming depends, really, on how 'out' she is on that matter.

The part that squicks me out is the "rude but secretly gleeful" -- picking my words carefully, here, Elf, but that feels perilously close to being a mindfuck.

So, in the end, my answer would have to be, "that depends on the person". And that answer will further change with time; my attitude about elevator eyes now is bemused acceptance that it's going to happen (and in my approaching middle age, a vague sense of delight that my tits still have Awesome Powers of their own); thirty-odd years ago when I was a young amazon street-fighter, I'd have been cranked-out about it.

I do appreciate that this is a silly question, Elf; but thanks for asking it.

Elane, la dame qui soit toujours difficile.