Dinah has passed way.

[elfs]

Dinah

Dinah passed away this evening at about 6:00pm.

We took her to the vet because her inability to eat was becoming much more serious. She had a growth under her tongue that was making it impossible for her to eat, and Dr. Emily said that with the kidney and neurological damage she'd already suffered, our alternatives were to either put her down, or let her starve to death. We could have intubated her, I guess, but that's not... it just didn't seem right. Omaha and I talked it over and decided it was time.

I blogged back in March of last year the sense of caretaker's guilt I felt sometimes wondering when Dinah was going to die and when I could stop the heroic efforts of watering her and prepping her meds every night and all the rituals that went into caring for a geritric cat. The doctor had said she had six to eight months; she lasted 22 months. The past two weeks had been hard for her, the decline rapid and painful to watch.

I miss her already. Kouryou-chan said she'd never seen me cry before. We walked in the door and I wondered where Dinah was, why wasn't she at the top of the stairs complaining that I hadn't petted her yet. Then I remembered that her body is in a box outside in the deep freezer, awaiting burial, and her spirit has moved on to somewhere else.

I'm still fighting the tears. It's still hard. I loved the burning cat, the bloody cat, and the cat with the pop-top head, and I miss her terribly.

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/_candide_/]

Hugz!

;_;

epinoid and I offer our condolences to you and your family.

And don't let anyone tell you otherwise: you've suffered a loss. Maybe not one of the Big Losses, but a loss nonetheless. And the natural, correct, healthy reaction to loss is grief. So do grieve.

And *hugz!* once more.