A catalog for the testosterone crowd

[elfs]

I was at a friend's house yesterday, and on her roommate's bookshelf I spotted a catalog from Bud K, the catalog for every fifteen-year-old boy of any age. It's basically a fantasy weapons shop, selling all manner of knives, "wolverine" claws, stun guns, batons, sword canes, "ninjawear" of every sharpness and stupidity. Alongside all this Darwinian self-de-selection gear there was Harley Davidson clothing, "America: Love it or Leave" lines of apparel, and "fantasy" figurines of improbably proportioned women bending, arcing, and otherwise showing off their virtual wares.

I am, sadly, long past the age when that kind of stuff stiffens more than my resolve. As I flipped through it, though, I got an unpleasant vibe. Along with all this pseudoAmericana was a disturbing amonut of pseudoNaziana, including "Authentic 1942 German Helmet," complete with your choices of German Army, Luftwaffe, SS, or Nazi Party insignia, replica broomhandle Mausers, and "German Army Eagle Daggers," which you could optionally choose to have engraved with the motto of the SS, "Meine Ehre heißt Treue," (My Honor is Truth). Oh, and while we're at it, there's a ton of Confederate States of America insignia throughout the catalog.

And there, in the middle of all of this paraphenalia celebrating testosterone, death, maiming, and pain, one item jumped to my attention. Completely innocuous and out of place: A "genuine Italian™ Stone Leather™" Bible Cover.

Why isn't cognitive dissonance more painful?

Comments

[areitu.livejournal.com]

That reminds me of one instance where my boyfriend and I were on our way to see a friend I hadn't seen in a while, and we were talking about those fantasy knives and the kind of people who collected them. About 20 minutes after arriving at the friend's place, his girlfriend was showing off her collection of fantasy knives.

I get the feeling the same crowd buying those things are the same people who would get plenty of mileage out of a "Genuine Italian™ Stone Leather™" Bible Cover.

[solarbird]

Hitler Youth knife!

These people have stupid fantasies.

[elfs.livejournal.com]

Didja notice that on that piece, and that piece alone, Bud K felt uncomfortable enough about selling to the Störmfrönt crowd that they had to put a "we do not condone..." disclaimer on it?

[srmalloy.livejournal.com]

There's always the butterfly knife from hell, but at least that has a genuine anime referent...

[pixel39.livejournal.com]

I confess to having bought from BudK but only because they are a dealer of Cold Steel walking sticks and sword canes, and with shipping it cost far less than buying one from a dealer at a con.

[rhonan.livejournal.com]

The bulk of the people that buy from places like BudK lack the cognitive powers to ever experience any dissonance from their behaviors. We, on the other hand, are forced to experience the pain for them.

[elfs.livejournal.com]

So why doesn't the self-de-selection feature work better?

[rhonan.livejournal.com]

Dumb luck. Still, some of them work once in a while, and sometimes before they've reproduced, so the net effect, if small, is positive.

[angharads-house.livejournal.com]

because in an utter inversion of transhumanism, they are slowly edging off into a new species, Homo ludens, that only will breed amongst its own members.

[elfs.livejournal.com]

Pretty, dumb, and unable to breed true with the rest of us? FTW!

[angharads-house.livejournal.com]

Hah, I can readily foresee the establishment of several new species of genera Homo and Metahomo, and rather suspect that Homo florensis is still around and breeding; have actually met a few candidates for inclusion therein.

For which, please see Cyril Kornbluth's short story, The Marching Morons, as noted at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Marching_Morons.

[duskwuff.livejournal.com]

Browsing through that site, the item descriptions gave me a feeling of deja vu. It seemed like I'd read similar descriptions in a very different sort of store before, but I couldn't quite place it. Then it hit me.

Dive into the realms of a fantasy axe never before experienced! Featuring two solid cold hard stainless steel axe heads surrounding outstretched metal spikes and cold cast poly resin skull face...

I've seen the exact same sort of overwrought prose used to describe sex toys.

[rand0m1.livejournal.com]

The psuedo Americana/Nazi mixture reminds me in a way of where I grew up.
I grew up in Springfield, Illinois where every summer during the 4th of July they used to hold Lincoln Fest down town.

Here we were, celebrating our nation's birth while everyone is doing all these Civil War things. And, of course, near Lincolns home they would have a group of Union Civil War soldiers parading around. It never failed there would be at least one group of drunk rednecks waiving Confederate flags.

I do have to admit to a guilty passion for swords. Don't ask me why...I just have a thing for long bits of sharp metal :D

[angharads-house.livejournal.com]

ah, one step down the food chain from Atlanta Cutlery. Probably will turn out that both firms are operating units of the China Overseas Trading Company, anyway......

[featheredfrog.livejournal.com]

Completely innocuous and out of place: A "genuine Italian™ Stone Leather™" Bible Cover.

Why do you say this is out of place? Seems right in line to me.

Translation

[(Anonymous)]

That would be: My honour is loyalty.
Or literally translated: My honour is called loyalty.

Re: Translation

[elfs.livejournal.com]

Hey, I only report what the catalog itself claimed the inscription read.

[abostick59.livejournal.com]

BudK -- the supplier to Mall Ninjas!

[elfs.livejournal.com]

Gad, I think I know that guy.