Why I love my wife.

[elfs]

Omaha and I were debating seeing Beowulf, the new one. I commented that it wasn't the real deal; The dialogue was awful, you had wear the 3-D glasses, and Grendel's mother had been transformed from a horrible, mordant monster into, well, Angelina Jolie. Naked.

"Ah," Omaha said. "That's why you want to see this movie. Angelina Jolie's boobs."

I said, "That's not it. I'm not into Angelina Jolie. She's nuts."

"Dear, if I showed you Angelina Jolie's boobs, and you couldn't see her face, you'd still want them. You wouldn't know they were attached to a crazy woman."