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[personal profile] elfs
So there's this guy in one of my programming groups that I go to from time to time who, for lack of a better word in English, is a schlump. I've never seen him better than half-shaven, hair unkempt, shirt untucked. He wears a worn denim jacket with tassels that went out of style back when Michael Knight was still cruising the truckstop restrooms of America with the former governor of New Jersey. His jeans have holes in them.

The other night his wife came by to pick him up after the meeting was over. She's an f'ing Hegre girl (NSFW)! I don't mean that in the sense than she's been in front of the camera, but by the Invisible Pink Unicorn (BBHHH) she should be. Tall, willowy, blonde, gorgeous, clothes impeccably stylish, with librarian-fetish glassses. Cheekbones of doom!

I just don't get the whole Billy Joel Effect. (Come to think of it, there's nothing remarkably creative about this fellow either that I know of. He's a middling-level ruby coder.) It makes me think this whole goin'-to-the-gym thing isn't going to help. What's the point of being in good shape if it doesn't matter? Live slow, die old, and leave a good-looking corpse doesn't quite have the same ring, ne?

Date: 2006-10-25 06:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] en-ki.livejournal.com
It doesn't work for people who have a first name and a last name. If you've got only first names, you're a celebrity, and if you've got only last names, you're rich.

Date: 2006-10-25 06:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pixel39.livejournal.com
*I* think you're hot.

Date: 2006-10-25 09:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mouser.livejournal.com
Not to be crass, but maybe there's something under the surface you are seeing. You never mention if he's a nice guy or not, if he likes kids and puppies (or if they have six kids).

Hmmm - I had to look up "Billy Joel Effect" to know what you meant. If I'm reading it right, it could be called "Gold Digger Lite." But in this case, it might be anything from "childhood sweethearts" to "church group" to "who knows what".

Dunno. Maybe I just find the term offensive.

(Or maybe he's so unkempt because she's just plain wearing him out!)

Date: 2006-10-25 10:07 pm (UTC)

Date: 2006-10-26 12:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shadowfey.livejournal.com
For 'Billy Joel Effect', think the old Bloom County cartoons, where I believe it was first coined. It's where a knock-out marries a man who is physically unimpressive and not that special or even considered downright homely. Ie, Christie Brinkley and Billy Joel as the coining term couple; another example given was Paulina Porizcova and Rick O'Casek, of the Cars.

Maybe it was just an 80s thing, but there were a lot of supermodels just then who married rock stars who by general consensus were physically not considered all that attractive. The rationale generally accepted was that while these men weren't 'hunks', they had intellectual or creative talent in such amounts that it 'evened out'.

From what Elf's said, there's nothing overt about this guy to suggest unusual intelligence or creativity on this guy's part; personality-wise, what he shows at the office matches his appearance. Not downright offensive, but a big case of 'nothing special'. I suspect it's less that Elf finds him a negative case than that the contrast between this guy and his wife is in this case so striking.

Date: 2006-10-26 12:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brannonb.livejournal.com

They like the same movies, he gets her jokes, he treats her with respect and kindness and loves her for attributes that she will not lose with age.

It works for me :-)

Date: 2006-10-26 02:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dossy.livejournal.com
The only logical explanation is that the guy has a monstrous fucking cock, and she loves it.

Date: 2006-10-26 06:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lisakit.livejournal.com
So, just what is it you're going to the gym for? Is it just that you want to look better (though how you'd manage to look even better than you already do I can't figure)? Or is it for health reasons? Because you think you should?

I mean, are you doing it for you? For something *you* want?

'Cause if you're just doing it to impress others in some way, I see no point in it. If you're doing it because it makes you happy, then who cares about the Billy Joel effect?

Date: 2006-10-26 07:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] memegarden.livejournal.com
I had to look it up:

http://pure-essence.net/fun/everything-hilarious/dont-step-on-ducks/

What a deeply weird joke.

Harken to the feminine insight!.

Date: 2006-10-26 01:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] agnosticprophet.livejournal.com
A man's personality has much to do with whether we want a relationship with him. His looks and physical condition have much more to do with how much sex and physical adoration he gets WITHIN that relationship. Good thigh muscles and the ability to properly "manhandle" a woman without dropping her or or letting her slide down the wall at the wrong moment are also greatly appreciated.

Date: 2006-10-31 06:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elfs.livejournal.com
When someone asks me if I'm doing something I "want," I start asking deep questions of the other person: Why do you "want?" By what process do you choose to "want" something? Underneath it all, what values are being expressed in terms of want or desire?

I'm going to the gym because I've reached the age where I start to lose muscle mass, and if I'm going to make it to 80 years of age I want to keep as much of that as possible. The only way to do that is to use it, to encourage it to stay around, and that includes my heart. I go because I want to sleep better, and make love better, and be able to lift my kids without backaches. I go because I've always thought of myself as the scrawny guy, the weakling, and it would be nice to look upon myself someday and like the physical presentation that I see.

Date: 2006-10-31 07:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lisakit.livejournal.com
Now see, health reasons I can understand. I just don't really get the body image thing. But then, that might be another symptom of my early years in hospitals. I'm healthy? Good. Who cares about what the package looks like then? Of course I also know I'm no beauty, nor am I ever likely to be, so I made the conscious choice years ago to not worry about such things.

I exercise because I know in the long run it helps keep my muscles limber which in turn helps to keep the pain levels down. Yah it hurts to exercise, but it means I have the strength to get out of bed each morning.

I guess this is one area where I actually am accepting of myself.

It just puzzles me why someone who is good looking (and who even has repeated validation of that from outside sources) would have a less positive body image. And BTW - my Dad's a little guy, and slim, and he hauls sheet metal around for a living. Slim (or scrawny as you put it) doesn't equal weak.

BTW - you're new journal colors are a pain in the ass to read. Pls excuse any typos, 'cause I can't see my text. ;p

Date: 2006-11-05 07:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ewhac.livejournal.com
I'm going to the gym because I've reached the age where I start to lose muscle mass, and if I'm going to make it to 80 years of age I want to keep as much of that as possible. The only way to do that is to use it, to encourage it to stay around, and that includes my heart.

I recommend ballroom dancing and classical fencing. You get a workout, and you look good doing it :-).

Date: 2006-11-05 07:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ewhac.livejournal.com
Thank you. I occasionally witness the same thing myself and it almost always honks me off. The phrase that most often enters my mind is, "What the hell's wrong with me?"

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