One of my favorite Onion pieces:

[elfs]

Clinton Calls for National Week Off To Get Shit Together

"My fellow Americans," Clinton said in his weekly radio address, "as your president, I have had a great many things to deal with during my time in office: welfare reform, the '96 election, Bosnia, fundraising scandals-- you name it. As a result, a lot of shit has piled up that I have not had the chance to take care of."

"I am certain," Clinton told the American people during the radio address, "that you, too, have a great deal of shit piling up. Now more than ever, we, as a nation and a people, need this time off to finally deal with all the shit we've let slide."

Gods, I totally need this holiday. The article mentioned that the "National Week Off" would be the third week in October. I'm totally ready to call that Discardia 2006 week, actually take it off, and try and get my shit together.