Time Sinx

Mar. 9th, 2006 03:29 pm
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[personal profile] elfs
In a recent LJ article, [livejournal.com profile] drewkitty drew my attention to this post by [livejournal.com profile] meowse, in which he observes after spending 160 hours of gaming only to have the campaign fall apart at the end that, even if he'd succeeded, the benefit of having done so for what amounts to four full work-weeks, and then adds up the economic costs of not working, the social costs of not socializing, and the personal costs of not fucking for all that time.

There was a time, once, when I had that kind of time. I blew a lot of it on MMORPG gaming. Admittedly, at the time, it was "gaming" only in a sense in that most of the players just connected to "go there," chat, hang out, and generally socialize, with the ulterior motive of figuring out who we could lay the next time we got together at some SFnal convention or other. I've also blown a lot of time doing other kinds of gaming: playing through Doom 1-3, Quake 1 & 2, Tron 2.0, Star Wars: Dark Forces 1 & 2, and so on.

I wondered the other day why I hadn't felt like gaming much in the past couple of months. I seem to go through spasms where I game a lot, then it tapers off. Right now I'm in a tapering period, but I suspect I may never game the way I used to. I looked at my calendar for the coming month. Some people complain about their weekends being booked: imagine having every minute of every day booked. Kouryou-chan's dance classes; Yamaraashi-chan's chorus; Omaha's broadcast nights. The kids have their homework and chores, and Kouryou-chan still needs to be watched over to do hers, plus they deserve as much time as I can give them just for fun and games. Every Saturday this month has something: two of them are dedicated to volunteer efforts at my kids' schools. If Sunday isn't full, by the gods I'm not doing anything but recovering from all of this.

And I'm still finding time to write in all of that. Not a lot of time, mind you: an hour here or there, on the bus or during lunch, and sometimes when Omaha's working on her show and the kids are in bed I take another half hour. If I'm lucky. Right now I'm managing to sustain 5000 words a week, and that doesn't feel like enough. Not nearly enough.

I've heard it said that the ages of 40 through 45 are the most stressful in a man's life. The kids, the job, the family are full-time occupations. I hope it gets easier.
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Elf Sternberg

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