Warning!

[elfs]

WARNING: LIVEJOURNAL.COM HAS NOT CONDUCTED A FELONY-CONVICTION SEARCH OR FBI SEARCH ON "ELF M. STERNBERG".

Now, if you saw that, would you still want to date me?

Man, that's a sleazy business to be sure. And the way the template is worded, it could conceivably cover every business, LJ included, where people present themselves and make themselves available to others.