Two conversations.
Nov. 29th, 2004 10:20 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elfsThis weekend I had two conversations that, together, intrigued me to no end. The first was from an acquaintance I'd made recently who, after knowing me for six months through another friend, finally came up and said, "You know, ten years ago when I read your stuff I realized that I didn't have to live a normal life."
I was a bit stunned. I never know what to say about such things; I live in this dichotomous world where on the one hand I believe that saying what you mean and not being withdrawn or ashamed of who you are is the kind of thing that changes the world; on the other hand I remain a little shocked that people seem to believe I'm one of the people saying those kinds of world-changing stuffs. I thanked her, and blushed a bit, and really wished I knew more about how to handle those circumstances.
The other came from an old reader who wrote that she was "unfriending" my blog because she was hoping for things like The Journal Entries and, instead, found that I'd given up my exciting, kinky, heroic existence for endless days of wiping my kids' noses and driving them to school.
Hey, having kids is pretty damned heroic. It's taking responsibility for not just your own life, but the life of another. it's having faith in a future that'll be better or just as good as the past. It is commitment. And it's an adventure, a twisty maze of passages, all different, as they get older and more complicated and more human.
"It's like if Spiderman took off the costume, got a nine-to-five job, got old and fat and bald and eventually died, a burned-out bitter old man. I'd hate a story like that. It's depressing."
Clues in small doses: There is no Spiderman; there are only mere mortal human beings. Being "true to yourself" does not mean playing "fuck the system" every last day of your life. Finding your way through life, finding a way to feed yourself (not to mention a family!) and still be satisified with your day-to-day existence, that's tough work.
And here's the last clues: wannabe heroes suck. Real heroes may be crafted in a heartbeat by circumstance, but wannabe heroes get people killed. It is the desire for "a better world by hook or by crook" that creates monsters. The road to Hell and all that. The world is messier than a comic book.
Still, I'm having the best revenge. My life is both happier and calmer than hers.
I was a bit stunned. I never know what to say about such things; I live in this dichotomous world where on the one hand I believe that saying what you mean and not being withdrawn or ashamed of who you are is the kind of thing that changes the world; on the other hand I remain a little shocked that people seem to believe I'm one of the people saying those kinds of world-changing stuffs. I thanked her, and blushed a bit, and really wished I knew more about how to handle those circumstances.
The other came from an old reader who wrote that she was "unfriending" my blog because she was hoping for things like The Journal Entries and, instead, found that I'd given up my exciting, kinky, heroic existence for endless days of wiping my kids' noses and driving them to school.
Hey, having kids is pretty damned heroic. It's taking responsibility for not just your own life, but the life of another. it's having faith in a future that'll be better or just as good as the past. It is commitment. And it's an adventure, a twisty maze of passages, all different, as they get older and more complicated and more human.
"It's like if Spiderman took off the costume, got a nine-to-five job, got old and fat and bald and eventually died, a burned-out bitter old man. I'd hate a story like that. It's depressing."
Clues in small doses: There is no Spiderman; there are only mere mortal human beings. Being "true to yourself" does not mean playing "fuck the system" every last day of your life. Finding your way through life, finding a way to feed yourself (not to mention a family!) and still be satisified with your day-to-day existence, that's tough work.
And here's the last clues: wannabe heroes suck. Real heroes may be crafted in a heartbeat by circumstance, but wannabe heroes get people killed. It is the desire for "a better world by hook or by crook" that creates monsters. The road to Hell and all that. The world is messier than a comic book.
Still, I'm having the best revenge. My life is both happier and calmer than hers.
