For a while now I've been trying to reconcile two separate but seemingly irreconcilable ideas: the idea that there is no such thing as "acting without emotion," and the Stoic ideal of epoché, the suspension of judgment.
Our society is currently undergoing a revolution in which the claims that "women are more emotional than men" and "men make decisions unclouded by emotion" have been directly challenged. As has long been known, all decisions are emotional, that is, regardless of the facts at hand that may favor one outcome over another, it is a desire on the part of the decider to achieve a certain outcome that leads one to decide on one action over the other. When we say "women are more emotional than men" and "men make decisions unclouded by emotion," what we're actually saying is that women are, through nature or nuture, more caring than men are, that women are unwilling to withdraw their concern for others who may be impacted by a decision, and that women are substantially less concerned with preserving their own personal power and prestige when doing so may cause pain and harm. Men who say "my views are not based on emotion" are engaged in a kind of performative masculinity in which they're working against a deep-seated fear that their pride, their sense of self, and their long-term identity as a man may be threatened.
On the other hand, the Stoic ideal of epoché argues for exactly that kind of emotional detachment. Epoché is translated as "reserve" or "suspension of judgment," and says that we should never rush into decisions but let them settle, looking at them at different points in time, being especially skeptical of our decision-making ability when we are stressed, hungry, tired, or aroused, whether that arousal be anger, sorrow, or sexual arousal.
If all decisions are emotional ones then what are we to make of epoché and its implementation in our daily lives? The answer lies in answering a more fundamental question: Who do I want to be?
If we train ourselves in kindness and optimism, two traits most of us are capable of having, then then person we want to be is kind and optimistic. Practicing epoché, we can tell when we are in a state that would prevent our kindness and optimism from being fully expressed. We can hold onto that identity as a guide, leading us away from snap decisions. We can ask for time to make decisions later, when we are rested and fed. We can, in short, practice what the Stoics call the meditation of the Sage and ask what an ideal version of ourselves would do, and inquire if we're in the right state of mind to answer that question faithfully.
By doing so, we can reconcile our will to live with our emotions, to understand and embrace them, and also to be skeptical of the actions toward which they will lead us, until such time as we can act responsibly, with kindness and optimism.
Our society is currently undergoing a revolution in which the claims that "women are more emotional than men" and "men make decisions unclouded by emotion" have been directly challenged. As has long been known, all decisions are emotional, that is, regardless of the facts at hand that may favor one outcome over another, it is a desire on the part of the decider to achieve a certain outcome that leads one to decide on one action over the other. When we say "women are more emotional than men" and "men make decisions unclouded by emotion," what we're actually saying is that women are, through nature or nuture, more caring than men are, that women are unwilling to withdraw their concern for others who may be impacted by a decision, and that women are substantially less concerned with preserving their own personal power and prestige when doing so may cause pain and harm. Men who say "my views are not based on emotion" are engaged in a kind of performative masculinity in which they're working against a deep-seated fear that their pride, their sense of self, and their long-term identity as a man may be threatened.
On the other hand, the Stoic ideal of epoché argues for exactly that kind of emotional detachment. Epoché is translated as "reserve" or "suspension of judgment," and says that we should never rush into decisions but let them settle, looking at them at different points in time, being especially skeptical of our decision-making ability when we are stressed, hungry, tired, or aroused, whether that arousal be anger, sorrow, or sexual arousal.
If all decisions are emotional ones then what are we to make of epoché and its implementation in our daily lives? The answer lies in answering a more fundamental question: Who do I want to be?
If we train ourselves in kindness and optimism, two traits most of us are capable of having, then then person we want to be is kind and optimistic. Practicing epoché, we can tell when we are in a state that would prevent our kindness and optimism from being fully expressed. We can hold onto that identity as a guide, leading us away from snap decisions. We can ask for time to make decisions later, when we are rested and fed. We can, in short, practice what the Stoics call the meditation of the Sage and ask what an ideal version of ourselves would do, and inquire if we're in the right state of mind to answer that question faithfully.
By doing so, we can reconcile our will to live with our emotions, to understand and embrace them, and also to be skeptical of the actions toward which they will lead us, until such time as we can act responsibly, with kindness and optimism.
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