Amanda Marcotte makes a really important observation in Anti-feminists are outraged that feminists argue you should only kiss people who are kissing you back, and I think it needs a serious signal boost.
The people who claim that a woman's "no" is only "no" if she uses a narrow and specific set of words are the very same people who are upset if we ask that men learn to use a narrow and specific set of words to request sex. They want to have it both ways. We should not let them.
The consent rules specified by (some) colleges and universities are broad enough to include welcoming gestures and meaningful facial expressions; they don't require affadavits of consent signed in triplicate. (Although that gives me an idea for an app...) To that extent, we must recognize that "no" can come in many ways, including meaningful gestures and avoidance, and if we want welcoming gestures to be binding we should also accept that rejecting gestures are also binding.
The people who claim that a woman's "no" is only "no" if she uses a narrow and specific set of words are the very same people who are upset if we ask that men learn to use a narrow and specific set of words to request sex. They want to have it both ways. We should not let them.
The consent rules specified by (some) colleges and universities are broad enough to include welcoming gestures and meaningful facial expressions; they don't require affadavits of consent signed in triplicate. (Although that gives me an idea for an app...) To that extent, we must recognize that "no" can come in many ways, including meaningful gestures and avoidance, and if we want welcoming gestures to be binding we should also accept that rejecting gestures are also binding.
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