Want to cultivate a sinister air?
Oct. 1st, 2007 08:48 amWant to cultivate a reputation for sinister activity? Turn off your cell phone!
In the days before office life was subverted by the cult of personality, your average working stiff was always looking for ways to be out of contact. Phones were left off the hook, smokers popped down to the mailroom, phantom meetings were arranged in mystery locations across town, time-serving professionals sat alone on park benches and secretaries were regularly entreated by semaphore to deny one's availability. That was in the lazy, hazy days before the mobile phone. Nowadays, being unavailable is understood to be an act of aggression equal to driving tanks through the walls of the Danzig Post Office. To fail to answer your mobile phone, or to turn it off completely, is merely to announce that you are deep in the throes of a secret life. You don't care, you're not reliable, you've got something to hide, you're screening. There are few modern crimes so remarked on as the crime of unavailability. Answer or you're evil. Answer or you're dead.Hmm, there's some really skiffy ideas in Andrew O'Hagan's latest essay. I am totally and without shame stealing the word "communiverse" for the foreshortened self-inflicted horizon of the consensual reality you share with your friends.