Fuck my potential. What about my passion?

Bill Gates announced last night that he is stepping down as Microsoft's chairman to pursue his other interest: directing the Gates Foundation, his philanthropic organization that has actually done some interesting and useful things along the way.

He made the announcement in front of a big cardboard state setting on which was written the current slogan of MS Business Solutions: "Your potential. Our passion." Reading the newspapers and actually watching the announcement, however, I realized just how deeply creeped out I am by Bill Gates, and I think I finally understood why.

Bill doesn't understand human beings. He views them as units in a production process, and his passion is to get you to do what he wants to the best of your ability. He really doesn't care what you want; indeed, his objective is to seduce you into doing what he wants. Part of his philanthropy is, I'm certain, rooted in humanitarian impulses, but they are to me unpleasant humanitarian impulses: this is not the humanitarianism of respect for your fellow human being, this is the dirgisme humanitarianism of seeing all of those intellectual resources, all those minds that could be doing something useful, instead scrabbling in the dirt for daily survival.

This is why Microsoft is the brutal beast that it is: if your passion is to write software that makes life more free, then it blunts MS's ability to channel your potential into their limited set of chosen outlets. We are the potential, the footsoldiers; Microsoft has the passion and gives the orders.

One newspaper today said of Gate's announcement, "Changing seats, but the mission stays the same: saving the world." That cape doesn't fit Bill very well, though.

I do hope the Gates Foundation does some philanthropic good; it has so far. I just fear that the cost of ongoing business with them is exactly like that of doing ongoing business with Microsoft, and unique organizations will someday find themselves vestigal organs stuck to the Foundation's side.

Zazen, gym

Yesterday, I forgot my Palm electronic planner at home. I was frantic for most of the day, since I need that thing to keep the calendar part of my life in order, but it also has a number of other utilities on it that I appreciate greatly. Two of those are CSpotRun, my e-book reader, and PocketDoan, a meditation timer. I use PocketDoan for a lot of things, like timing how long it should take me to clean the kitchen (20 minutes, tops), or do a hack run (25 minutes to get started).

But I was determined to get in some zazen, so I found the meditation room (still not suitable for writing, but it's good enough for some minutes of quiet), and I programmed the alarm on my phone to off twelve minutes later. I sat down and started.

After a while, though, doubts started to creep in. Had I set the alarm right? I don't use it on my phone very often, so it was entirely possible I had messed up in some way. Still, I held on, trying to keep my mind clear. Eventually, though, the temptation got the better of me, and I looked: it had been fifteen minutes.

Ah, well.

I also skipped lunch to hit the gym instead. I did a rapid circuit of abs, arms, and thighs, and when it was done I hurt all over, but in good ways. I just have to remember to keep this up.

On the other hand, I'm annoyed with myself for one thing. On the way home, the munchies hit me hard and I stopped and grabbed a bag of Tim's Sea Salt & Vinegar potato chips and downed the whole bag. 350 unneeded calories. Bleah! At least I made up for it by having only fruit for desert: a medley of mango, strawberries, and peaches. Yummy!

Writing Progress

I took a week off from writing-- not voluntarily, mind you, but just because there was so much else to do-- and getting back into the groove was really difficult. I'm not sure why, but I can't seem to wrap my head around the Caprice or Misuko series.

On the other hand, I finished the third of the Treefort stories. Orgy in August, Sodomy in September, and Decadence in December are done. All that's left is Nymphs in November, but that one doesn't seem too hard to pull off. I can't believe the count is already 20,300 words. That's just scary. And some of it will need re-writing, because keeping the characters and the formula intact is harder than it looks!

No surprises here, either!

And, like zonereyrie, I did not game this. It's just the way it came out.

( Memes go behind cuts! )