Supermarket paperback grammar...
Jan. 4th, 2012 09:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elfsWhile I was browsing in the local supermaket, I picked out two romance novels at random, the kind that has a handsome, well-oiled torso on the cover, sometimes straddled by the bright white flashing thighs of the heroine, and thumbed through them.
The first one made me cringe as the POV switched back and forth between the hero and the heroine in the same paragraph. Repeatedly. The author seemed to think that giving the reader enough information involved constantly flipping back and forth between "He wanted..." and "She felt..." sentences.
The second one was worse. After the meh-handled love scene, the paragraph ended with this gem: "Her gaze tangled with his, enjoying the sensation, before she rose and stretched." Her gaze enjoyed? Really? Where the hell is your editor? How did this get past your beta readers?
Man, I should get back into writing. This stuff is terrible.
The first one made me cringe as the POV switched back and forth between the hero and the heroine in the same paragraph. Repeatedly. The author seemed to think that giving the reader enough information involved constantly flipping back and forth between "He wanted..." and "She felt..." sentences.
The second one was worse. After the meh-handled love scene, the paragraph ended with this gem: "Her gaze tangled with his, enjoying the sensation, before she rose and stretched." Her gaze enjoyed? Really? Where the hell is your editor? How did this get past your beta readers?
Man, I should get back into writing. This stuff is terrible.
