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[personal profile] elfs
Freshly sated from raping the corpse of Winnie The Pooh yet still uneasily dissatisfied, some git at the Walt Disney Corporation leaned back against his couch, lit up a doobie and turned on The Blue Lagoon. After the second roach burned his fingers, he freeze-frames the scene where the ten-year-old Richard climbs back into the boat with nothing but a pair of thin, wet cotton shorts clinging to his buttcheeks. One hand inside his boxers, he decided on his next victim: Tinkerbell needs a makeover and would look much better as a boyish clone of Peter Pan.

Tinkerbell does not need a goddamned makeover.

And no, USA-fucking-Today, this in not a "cool new look." This is an abuse of an entire generation's childhood memories.
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Elf Sternberg

May 2025

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