I think I know these people...

[elfs]

From The Atlasphere, a meat market for Ayn Rand fans, as recently quoted in NY Mag:

Daniel: My name is Daniel. I consider myself to be a born-again egoist and I have dedicated the rest of my life to self-improvement. People see me as a socially inept loner because I tend to avoid superficial conversation but actually I love talking to people who like to think (the problem being I don't know very many).

ThusToTyrants: You should contact me if you are a skinny woman. If your words are a meaningful progression of concepts rather than a series of vocalizations induced by your spinal cord for the purpose of complementing my tone of voice. If you've seen the meatbot, the walking automaton, the pod-people, the dense, glazy-eyed substrate through which living organisms such as myself must escape to reach air and sunlight. If you've realized that if speech is to be regarded as a cognitive function, technically they aren't speaking, and you don't have to listen.

Zak: I take my relationships seriously. I am simply not attracted to many of the women in this world. I do not "hook-up" with girls. I only kiss those who deserve, and so far I have only encountered one who did. I would love to find someone I can learn something from; someone who challenges me to think; someone I can feel like I've won, rather than lowered myself to.

Lewis: I love intelligent, sassy girls, particularly those working in consulting or investment banking (but other fields are great too). Really, nothing is hotter than an accomplished girl in a suit, as long as she is willing to settle down and have my children. I want a girl who will support my ambitions against the naysayers in society.

And to perfect the coda of silliness, McSweeny's gives us an Atlas Shrugged for the current age:

He stood and adjusted his suit jacket so that his body didn't betray his shameful weakness. He walked toward her and sat informally on the edge of her desk. "Why make a product when you can make dollars? Right this second, I'm earning millions in interest off money I don't even have."

He gestured to his floor-to-ceiling windows, a symbol of his productive ability and goodness.

"There's a whole world out there of byzantine financial products just waiting to be invented, Dagny. Let the leeches run my factories into the ground! I hope they do! I've taken out more insurance on a single Rearden Steel bond than the entire company is even worth! When my old company finally tanks, I'll make a cool $877 million."

Their eyes locked with an intensity she was only beginning to understand. Yes, Hank ... claim me ... If we're to win the battle against the leeches, we must get it on ... right now ... Don't let them torture us for our happiness ... or our billions.

He tore his eyes away.

"I can't. Sex is base and vile!"

"No, it's an expression of our highest values and our admiration for each other's minds."

"Your mind gives me the biggest boner, Dagny Taggart."

He fell upon her like a savage, wielding his mouth like a machete, and in the pleasure she took from him her body became an extension of her quarterly earnings report–proof of her worthiness as a lover. His hard-on was sanction enough.

If you've ever read all the way through Atlas Shrugged, then read the rest, if you dare.

Comments

[shunra.livejournal.com]

ROTFL.

Just what a smart, self-assured woman would want - a born-again egoist to cater to... not.

(Do these guys not have mirrors? Or brains? Or are they just dying of a bad case of terminal optimism?)

[txtriffidranch.livejournal.com]

It's utter denial. Cat Piss Men (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cat+piss+man) are famous for it.